Puppy Love

So after some begging and pleading and complaining of how lonely I am all the time since I am always stuck at home with the kids and he's not, James finally let me get the puppy :] I also had to barter with him and let him get the stupid paintball gun he wants, and do some sexual favors. It's really sad that I am almost 21, living on my own, paying all my bills, have two children, a fulltime job, and I am a fulltime student, yet I have to ask my boyfriend (not husband) permission to do things, and on top of that, he makes it even more humiliating for me by demanding sexual favors or else he will not agree to let me get/do something I want.

Yes, I realize I am in a controlling relationship with a control freak. And yes, I realize that he is verbally abusive, and loves to humiliate me and belittle me whenever possible. Yet, I stay. Because love is blind, and I would rather wear these rose-colored glasses and be loved by the person I had a family with than alone, even if it is with a man who sometimes I wish would just... ugh.

I'm not defending him, but 50% of the time, he is the person I fell in love with. But the other 50% is just awful. I always walk on eggshells around him. We will be getting along fine, and everything will be wonderful, and then I do one teeny little thing wrong that I didn't even know about, and BOOM everything is ruined and he goes from Dr. Jeckyll to Mr. Jerkoff. I know he is bipolar. He has to be. That is the only thing that could possibly explain these bizarre overreactions and mood swings. But he was not raised the way I was, so treatment and psychological disorders and medicines are stupid to him, and do not apply to him. He doesn't have the problem, it's me with the problem. *le sigh*

Anyway, my puppy is very cute. The lady from the website said her name was Maggie, and while this is a cute name, I just don't like it. It reminds me of the baby from the Simpsons. Luckily, when I was adopting her, the lady said that she doesn't really call her Maggie, she just calls all the puppies "babies" so I decided to dub her with the new name "Bella," which I think is so pretty. She is just the cutest little thing, and so sweet. She warmed up to us very quickly, and now she is content to just lay in my lap or play with me. And I must admit, as much as I feel sorry for some animals that are dressed up by their owners, I think a shirt or a sweater for winter are okay, and maybe some cute outfits for the holidays, haha.

Well, for now I shall go back to work, even though it's boring and I would rather be sleeping. I really dislike my job, but we will save that rant for another time.